"I'd kill for a bigger ego, would make life a lot more...

"I'd kill for a bigger ego, would make life a lot more enjoyable"

I know what you're saying but positive and negative feelings are both ego - both prone to radical turnarounds with little notice. Life's biggest success stories can hit the wall in the blink of an eye. And vice versa, as your trading has shown. Nothing is permanent for the ego - nothing. Anyone who lives according to the ego's drive to possess, control and manipulate will suffer. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but life has a way of telling you when you're out of line. Nature's reckoning cannot be beaten. The cycles continue over and over and over until one tires of the game. Then one goes searching.