Fairwell Bert Mondello

Today, we gather to commemorate the illustrious career of the one and only Mr. Bert Mondello, a true maestro and a virtuoso of creative storytelling.

With his enchanting smile and smooth-talking wizardry, Mr. Mondello possessed an otherworldly talent for convincing even the most skeptical souls to part ways with their hard-earned cash. Right from the get-go, little Bertie showcased an exceptional knack for spinning marvelous tales that ignited the imagination of investors and stakeholders alike. Armed with his charismatic demeanor and a gift for persuasive communication, he could effortlessly paint vivid pictures of fantastical partnerships and groundbreaking ventures. One couldn't help but be swept away by the sheer audacity of his imaginatively narratives.

Right from the start, Mr. Mondello showcased a remarkable aptitude for crafting narratives that resonated with investors and stakeholders, igniting their imaginations. Through his charismatic demeanor and persuasive communication skills, he skillfully painted vivid pictures of grand partnerships and groundbreaking possibilities.Ah, Mr. Mondello, the master of finding convenient boltholes and reverse takeovers.

One of his favorite hideouts happens to be on the esteemed board of ASX-listed Douugh, courtesy of the reverse takeover of his previous (failed) experiment, Ziptel. Oh, the spectacle it was! Ziptel, that grand venture of his, imploded in a spectacular fashion after retracting a "landmark" deal with a London-based digital media group. Quite the achievement, I must say! But fear not, for Mr. Mondello's resourcefulness knows no bounds.

At Douugh, a delightful entity under the control of none other than his parents' Tyrrhenian Holdings, a magical act took place. Shares were issued to Tyrrhenian Holdings without any pesky shareholder approval. How convenient! And what did they do with this unexpected windfall? Why, they promptly sold those shares for a cool $252,291. Cha-ching! (Courtesy AFR)

And let's not overlook his beautiful involvement with another ASX listed “Multi level Marketing” company SP8 and his talent for capturing attention, not least from the ASX, who peppered him with multiple "please explain" notices. It takes a special kind of skill to attract such scrutiny with finesse, doesn't it?

But fear not, for with a confident smile and a twinkle in his eye, Mr. Mondello could artfully navigate those inquiries, leaving everyone wondering how his silver tongue could dance around the truth with such grace.

Now, brace yourselves for the grand finale. Once the ASX poked its nose into the matter (how dare they?), something truly miraculous occurred. In a moment of pure altruism, those ill-gotten proceeds were sent off to charity. Ah, how touching! At least amidst the wreckage of this grand spectacle, a glimmer of hope emerged. Perhaps a few people benefited from Mr. Mondello's astonishing ability to turn shady dealings into acts of philanthropy

Oh, and let’s not forget those irresistible dimples! They were like tiny craters of charm, luring unsuspecting mum n dad investors into his web of promises. Those adorable little dimples may have been his secret weapon all along—diverting attention from the questionable nature of his ventures and making it difficult for anyone to resist his dubious allure. Oh please stop

As we bid farewell to Mr. Bert Mondello, let us take a moment to appreciate the comedic brilliance he brought to the world of ASX small cap shenanigans. While we may not condone his actions, we can't deny the entertainment value he provided.May his future endeavours, should they venture into the realms of legality and ethics, continue to amuse and bemuse us in new and unexpected ways.

Much love Bert you will be sadly missed!

^{Clarification if any readers understood this article as suggesting that Bert Mondello has engaged in any illegal activity or corrupt or unethical conduct, that would be incorrect, and is not what we intended to suggest.}