When I listen to Putin speak, I hear a man speaking plainly and...

When I listen to Putin speak, I hear a man speaking plainly and seriously.
Listening to almost any US politician is just plain painful, it is all BS for the benefit of morons.
Please see attached reference to ownership of the Crimean peninsula from Wikipedia.
These statements would be uncontroversial.

In 1783, Crimea was annexed by the Russian Empire. Following the Russian Revolution of 1917, Crimea became a republic within the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic in the USSR, though later, during World War Two, it was downgraded to the Crimean Oblast. In 1954, the Crimean Oblast was transferred to the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic. It became the Autonomous Republic of Crimea within newly independent Ukraine in 1991, with Sevastopol having its own administration, within Ukraine but outside of the Autonomous Republic.

Imagine the response if Mexico demanded the return of California or even San Diego.
Russia's only warm water port and access to the Mediterranean is Crimea.

See Wikipedias entry on the Black Sea Fleet base in Sevastopol in Crimea.

The Black Sea Fleet (Russian: Черноморский Флот, Chernomorsky Flot) is a large operational-strategic command of the Russian (and formerly Soviet) Navy, operating in theBlack Sea and the Mediterranean Sea since the late 18th century. Its ships are based in various harbors of the Black Sea and the Sea of Azov, while its aviation and infrastructure is based in various locations in Crimea and Krasnodar Krai.
It is considered to have been founded by Prince Potemkin on May 13, 1783, together with its principal base, the city of Sevastopol. Russia struggled for a long time against its main rival in the region, the Ottoman Empire, with the Ottoman Navy being its main opponent in the Black Sea. The Black Sea Fleet defeated the Turks in 1790, and fought the Ottomans during World War I, the Romanians during World War II, and Georgia during the 2008 South Ossetia war. The division of the fleet in 1997 became the basis of theUkrainian Navy.^{[citation needed]}

Expecting Russia to hand over Crimea is infantile.