I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably very unhappy.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row.
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Everyone has a right to be stupid. - Politicians just abuse the privilege.
Old age is not as bad as I thought. It's a good feeling when you just don't give a hoot anymore and you feel happy just to wake up in the morning.
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