This is your captain speaking.
All passengers should now return to their seats and buckle up. Very tightly. My radar is showing some severe turbulence ahead in the form of up currents. We are currently passing through 5970 feet. We have been cleared to 39000 feet. Our chief steward moosey will be shortly passing through the cabin with champagne and something more strong if your nerves need calming.
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This is your captain speaking. All passengers should now return...
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Change
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