jewish jokes

Stern goes to the Rabbi & says "...did you hear about Mrs. Goldstein?" No, the Rabbi said. Since she lost her husband she is in dire straits. In fact, if she doesn't come up with the $500 rent money by next week she will be evicted! The Rabbi is sickened & gives Stern $50 out of his own pocket and assures him he will get the rest from the Congregation. The Rabbi commends Stern on being such a good friend to the widow Goldstein. Stern says, "friend?" I'm the landlord.


Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."