My father married a Fillipina when he was in his 60s and she wasjust 30. I was quite taken aback. He and his brother, also divorced, had gone to Manila with the specific objective of bringing back wives.
A wedding photo he sent me showed a beautiful looking young woman with this grey haired, slightly embarrassed looking much older man. He reported that she had a university degree but went on to say that such a degree didn't have the value of a similar qualification in Australia.
About ten years later I stayed with them briefly on my way to a work conference. I felt really uncomfortable, essentially because she wanted to act as my servant, making my bed, doing my washing, not allowing me to help in the kitchen etc.
My father had obviously happily accepted her waiting on him in this manner and told me to just let her do what 'made her happy'. She was sweet natured, intelligent, and apparently content (or resigned to?) the life she had chosen which included my father sending money over to her family. Talking to her, it emerged that the family's economic situation was the prime reason she had wanted to marry an Australian.
A few years after that, she was diagnosed with lung cancer (never smoked, healthy lifestyle) and my father took her to every available specialist in order to try to save her life, by that time clearly genuinely loving her. He was broken hearted when she died.
So it taught me not to make judgements about relationships which seem unbalanced. They can be fulfilling in ways we wouldn't anticipate.
