merry christmas and happy new year, page-2

Hello all,


At this time of year it’s difficult to know what to say without offending someone.



So having checked with my legal adviser I wish to say the following to everyone posting here.



Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday, practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.



I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2014, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.



By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:



This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

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Disclaimer: No trees were harmed in the sending of this message: however, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced. Due to a conservation policy change by the incoming government, the photon has been given an elevated protection status. This will promote traditional seasonal values for the next 3 years, consequential slower internet speeds and higher copper prices.



If you are not the intended recipient or if you cannot abide by the carefully considered conditions of use, please do not delete it. If you return it to the sender, it can be disposed of in an environmentally friendly way. A newly opened email recycling plant will shred the email, sort and store the letters and words for later sale and reuse by the less fortunate.