christian advice for young brides 1894

Advice for Young Brides
The following is a reprint from The Madison Institu
te Newsletter, Fall Issue, 1894:
INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE
FOR THE
YOUNG BRIDE
on the
Conduct and Procedure of the
Intimate and Personal Relationships
of the Marriage State
for the
Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this
Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
by
Ruth Smythers
beloved wife of
The Reverend L.D. Smythers
Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist
Church of the Eastern Regional Conference
Published in the year
of our Lord 1894
Spiritual Guidance Press
New York City
INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE
To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefi
ts of proper upbringing, the wedding day is,
ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying d
ay of her life. On the positive side, there is the
wedding itself, in which the bride is the central a
ttraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony,
symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provi
de for all her needs for the rest of her life. On t
he
negative side, there is the wedding night, during w
hich the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by
facing for the first time the terrible experience o
f sex.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shoc
king truth. Some young women actually anticipate
the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasur
e! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual
husband can easily take advantage of such a bride.
One cardinal rule of marriage should never be
forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL,
GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have
been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexu
al lust.
On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be e
xtreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse
rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been
by women since the beginning of time, and is
compensated for by the monogamous home and by the c
hildren produced through it.
It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prev
ail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation.
While
the ideal husband would be one who would approach h
is bride only at her request and only for the
purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and u
nselfishness cannot be expected from the average
man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost ev
ery day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of
two brief sexual experiences weekly during the firs
t months of marriage. As time goes by she should
make every effort to reduce this frequency.
Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are amon
g the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments
,
nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very ef
fective, if used in the late evening about an hour
before the husband would normally commence his sedu
ction.