My lifes confession

Born in Europe. Born Catholic but with very fragile faith.At 18 started working as journalist. Interest in poetry and writing..Then filmmaker.Always interested in social justice since young boy.Always dreaming, dreaming about saving people in disasters .Dreaming about just world.Lost faith and become lover of many woman, thief stealing food in supermarkets.Still dreaming about becoming a hero.Working as kitchen hand ,tyremaker,plastic factory workerMy degree meant nothing. Suddenly I got a job in TV station then in film industry again.No drugs but alcohol. Married a girl I got pregnant. More and more I could more understand the poor,weak,with no hope for tomorrow. Marriage not so good.Relationship with daughter so so.I was extremely shy,even talking to my wife and daughter.Suffering anxiety,irregular heartbeat.Terrible feeling grasping for breath everyday for about 12 years.But my finances allowed me to travel the world.O boy.My eyes opened again on world around me. Went few times to church buildings during my travels.Went to few more.More.More.In 2005 went on journey to see Californias Spanish missions. Out of 21 I've seen about 15.The last one was Mission Nuestra Señora de la Soledad.I could not bring myself to leave it.I just wanted to stay there as much longer as I could.Stayed there in the chapel .Chapel of Native Daughters of the Golden West/American Indians.
Returned home.And my life changed like in stories book. Confident.Extremely happy.From that day of landing felt extreme hunger to read anything about faith,religion.Nine years on I wake up happy,wanting to read sacred texts,running to church.Loving people.All.Evil and good.Done some reasearch about my experience.As a sceptic and philosopher took on board all aspects.Could I delude myself?
Well it is 9 years and if I deluded myself I would have some..........But not even one.Since then I have no doubts in my faith.They do not disrupt my thinking process anymore.It feels like they are stopped the moment they are about to enter .
Personal life? Love my wife like baby loves its mom.Love my daughter everyday and only regret is how I could be so cruel towards her in her teenage years.I never hit her but I used words I should not use.Even if she thinks that I was a good father .
Wishing all of you a happy ending on your journey.I told you the truth.
Now I believe that anyone from any denominations can have that experience or similiar because we are so different in make up.
Did you?Tell us.And stop fighting here,please.No one becomes permanent hero winning one lousy argument.

P.S.Mother language is not english.