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new product launch You wound me deeply, Strat. I contribute as much humour as you do to this forum.

"(MP is) jetting around the world working hard in stitching up deals to the benefit of QTK and its shareholders."

That joke's getting a little tired though. Interested in some new material. We'd had lots of "new deals" lately - what about a new product launch or something? Quickie haven't launched something for some time now. How about a cute cartoon sponsor this time? A promotion for Quickie Mart's[tm] new Marvin the Martian Illudium Q-36 Explosive Tracking Modulatorrrr[tm].

*** NEWS FLASH by Ian Porter ***


Osama bin Laden was reportedly killed with cutting edge technology from an Australian company. According to U.S. Intelligence reports, bin Laden had the technology embedded into his cam3l's rectum by 'insiders'. With it's anti-jamming technology (all it needed was a little push with the index finger), the Illudium Q-36 device was deployed and managed to track bin Laden deep within his cave. It was said that through patented Voice-tranmission[tm] technology, the device, made by QuikTrak Australia (QTK.ASX - currently cheap @ 18.5c), managed to overhear plans for bin Laden's next terrorist attack.
"The Earth?" bin Laden apparently said before his demise. "Oh, the Earth will be gone in just a few seconds..."
Shortly afterwards there was a large explosion. American intelligence is currently investigating whether lost transmission was a result of the detonation or cam3l defecation.

The device costs only $49.95 - in stock now! Hurry before stocks overflow our storeroom!


The reporter owns QuickieMart shares.