A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why
our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to
Capetown. I started to Explain the length of the flight and the
passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make
you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look stupid, I calmly
explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."Her
response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about
a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried
to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle
of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and
Florida is a very thin state!" (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is
it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said,
"But they look so close on the map." (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked
if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the
reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to
drive between gates to save time." (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She
needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left
at 8:30 am got to Chicago at 8:33 am. I explained that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7 A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines
put your physical description on your bag so they know whose
luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm
overweight. I think that's very rude!"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked
into it (I was laughing). I came back and explained the city code
for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal),
and the airline was just putting g a destination tag
on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it
be cheaper to fly to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?"
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
"How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant,
to which he
replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes
have numbers on them."
10. A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little
computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a
commuter plane.
She said, "Yeah, whatever, smarty!"
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about
the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy
discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and
never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a
visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four
times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make
reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ."
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, "Are you
sure that's the name of the town?"
"Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, I came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't
find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map!"
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and
finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" The reply?
"Whatever! I knew it was a big animal."
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that
it's in!
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