I summarized what many Christians believe is the biblical message - I didn't actually finish the admittedly non-PC summary of that message. It ends with God's Son coming back to destroy most of humankind again but by fire this time.
That is hardly good news.
In challenging people - and that's probably most Christians - I propose than an alternative interpretation of scripture is universal salvation.
That is far better news.
I didn't mention Satan - it was a summary which I think is covered by God being hacked off with his creation which included Satan irrespective of which realm (whatever that means) he resides.
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Now are you going to be nice and present us with an example from Uncle Carl if you indeed have one?