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Dear 9 Lives

I have ordered a full team of cameramen to be on standby in Caboolture on December 4th 2007.


A SWAT team (who will have the 9 Lives property surrounded prior to 9am Queensland time) will first take you to Australia Zoo, where an audience of 30,000 people has been organised to watch, witness and heckle loudly at your performance of the naked bull dance.


Just for old times sake, you will also be required to perform (naked of course) a full version of Pretty Woman in respect for Roy Orbison, (Crying, or Only the Lonely may be substituted, though you will certainly not be lonely at that moment.....but crying...possibly!!!)
and then American Pie, as it's the longest song I can think of right now at over 7 minutes!!!


Absolutely NO turkey shooting will take place, even though it is close to Christmas............the RSPCA will also be on standby to ensure this.

(That also means at least YOUR turkey stays intact!)