Feel Better:Complain About Anything, page-603

Sorry, Pic, Consuela couldn't cook a roast if her life depended on it. Her only cooking attributes are salads, which require no fire, and scones, which seems to be the only culinary art they teach in expensive private schools - and even they (the scones) are barely edible. I have actually lodged a formal complaint with Scots College (in person) - another true tale from my un-legendary past for later this evening. It didn't go down well ; much like her scones. I have long been convinced of a conspiracy within the private school system where young ladies are coached to seek out trophy husbands, former Boy Scouts and the like, of whom are skilled in the gentlemanly art of cooking under adverse conditions and survival techniques necessary to cope with undomesticated, former private school chicks - its the X Files all over again .