scene 5

Dubai Hilton.....The Prince Room.....

meeting of the Board to interview/appoint new MD....

Present...

Bangles Stratton (constantly looking over his shoulder)

Fingers Landau (bellyache from laughing at the emails)

Laundromat Leo (head of security and options collector)

Fat Mick (working out on the human punching bag)

Mick Manynames (practicing russian..mik...mika....mika....mikael....niuk..da..niuk..da..)

KING DONNELLY Yellow Belly BLACK Snakes (nasty vipers)

Sambo (in charge of the Moet and wearing his grass skirt)

Poor ol Poves (sulking in the corner)


Ist interview.....

Mr Pepe La-pew.....esteemed French petrol head.....

Bangles....Mr La-pew...your qualifications are above all expectations we require.....what would you like to do for our company if appointed.....

(well gentlemen.....first of all bring value to your shareprice, be open and honest with shareholders, keep the market informed, keep to timetables, deliver our promises on time, make Range Resources a world powerhouse in the oil industry, not forgetting and most importantly drill for elephant oil in puntland and make everyone rich beyond your wildest dreams.....)

murmer...murmer between the board....Laundromat...remove this idiot from this room now....

Thump. kick...ouch....ahhh....not the head.... not the head....kapow....done!

Fat Mick....FRIGGIN FROGGY STUNK.....NEXT......

Landromat.....hey fellas thought I would introduce a mate of mine for the next interview......he runs a very profitable business in Heidleburg which is owned by the worlds biggest boys club.....Heavens Scumbags.....they are the biggest mover in the world of certain minerals and bath in oil......they luv it!

murmer...murmer between the board....bring him in Laundromat....

into the room enters a huge hairy tattooed glassy eyed 500 kg monster of what looks like a human being stinking of bourbon and off his face.....singing..."who luv's ya baby"...get me a drink.....burp....fart....

LAUNDROMAT.....gentlemen ...meet Mr Animal....

Animal....burp.....how the fook are ya's.....nice spread...any freebies on the table....sniff, sniff....cough.... cough...splat...goozie on the floor...

FINGERS....Mr Animal....what can you do for our company if you are appointed?......

(bugger all for the company itself....stagger stagger ....reel reel.... burp...but you's lot I can make all of ya's a sheetload of money doing it and pay no tax.....burp.....fart....spit.....where's the onions?....)

murmer...murmer between the board....

BANGLES....congratulations Mr Animal.....your the new MD of our company......welcome......now lets celebrate and powder our noses.....

the room erupts with cheers of joy....hooray for Mr Animal....