Guys, it is extremely depressing alright but to those who still can't make head or tail of this present financial crisis, I hope the following will help.
Once upon a time in a village in India, a man announced that he would buy monkeys for $10.00. As there were thousands around, the villagers had no problems with supply. Soon the monkeys got fewer and the villagers stop selling. The man then announced that he will now pay $20.00 for each monkey. This renewed the villagers' efforts but soon supply ran out again. The offer price went up to $25.00, then $35 and finally $50.00 when there were no monkeys left. The man then left the village and left his assistant to carry on with the monkey business. The assistant then went to the villagers and told them of the plan to ripe off his boss. "hey, look at the thousnads of monkeys in those cages. I will sell them to you at $35.00 each and when the boss comes back, you guys can sell them back to my boss for his offer price of $50.00 for instant profit" The villagers withdrew all their life savings and bought all the monkeys. The next day the assistant left the village never to be seen again, only monkeys everywhere. WELCOME TO WALL STREET.
There is more.....The US government has just officially announced that the nation's emblem will now changed from the EAGLE to a CONDOM. This will be more appropriately represent the political stance. A condom will allow for inflation, halts production and thus destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pr..ks,and gives you a sence of security while you are being screwed. Damn, it doesn't get more accurate than that.
But wait, there is more. If you are still alive in the share market, you will need to get familiarised with the following new investment terms to continue surviving:-
C.E.O. Chief Embezzlement Officer C.F.O. Coporate Fraud Officer Bull Market A random movement causing an investor to mistake himself as an investment genius. Bear Market A 6 to 8 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and you get no sex. Value Investing The art of buying low and selling even lower. P.E Rario The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps on crashing Broker What my broker has done to me Standard & Poor Your life in a nutshell Stock Analysis As....d who just downgraded my stock Stock Split When your ex-wife has just split your assets between herself and her lawyer Financial Planner Someone whose phone has just been disconnected Market Correction The day after you bought your stock Cash Flow The movement your money makes as it flows down the toilet Yahoo The yelling you make after selling that stock to a sucker for $240.00 Windows The place where that sucker jumps out after buying that yahoo stock for $240.00 Institutional Investor Past year investor who is now locked up in a nuthouse. Profit An archiac word no longer in use.
End of story. I will now go back and watch the screen and figure out what to do with my more than 1 million HGO and ESG monkeys
Keep your spirits up and try to laugh. It is only money. Sob, sob, sob, sob.
HGO Price at posting:
8.7¢ Sentiment: Buy Disclosure: Not Held
