It's so hot that...
· the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
· the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
· farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
· the cows are giving evaporated milk.
· the trees are whistling for the dogs.
· you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
· you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
· you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
· you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
· you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
· The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
· you discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
· you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
· you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
· hot water now comes out of both taps.
· kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
· you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
· you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
· your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
· you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
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it's so hot that...
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