Loved your post. I have to be honest, with my eldest daughter I am getting really fed up apologising to her. She is very judgemental, I don't really understand exactly why, but since she had her two beautiful daughters she appears to have set me up as an example to herself of how not to be like me. We used to get on famously, I was just 23 when she was born and wow it was the happiest time of my life, apart from when her little sister was born 22 months later. Yes when she was a teenager, we partied together, only in the house. We adored the same music etc. Now she says the tables have turned and she has felt like the Mother. I never put pressure on her but she kept pulling away. She moved very close to where we were living, we have a lot in common, art, healthy living etc. But she has been angry with me for years, for what reason? I have helped her renovate 2 houses, but the favour is not returned. Of course I never tell her these things. She was diagnosed several years ago with OCD. We used to work together in real estate, but since she had her kids 15 years ago, they are her complete world. Even her partner does not get a look in. I adore her, but if I said even a fraction of the spiteful things that she says to me she would be brokenhearted. I do think I need to toughen up. She is a helicopter parent. I know damn well that when I was 15 if my Mother forbade me to see my Nan, I would have told her where to shove it. My Nan was my best friend. When we had a Covid shutdown here early last year, she would no nothing for us. I had to pay someone to get shopping for us. Where has my beautiful girl gone? She is a troubled soul and blames me. I must admit in the UK she used to smoke dope as did all of her friends, but she says that was my fault, heavens above. She has never worked since she had her kids, my psychiatrist thinks she has an undiagnosed mental illness, I don't know. I never smothered or tried to control her, she was the first person in our family to go to university and she adored her stepdad and her Dad. Enough whinging from me. I refuse to be treated like rubbish anymore. I have sent Christmas money, birthday cards and money and flowers for her last two birthdays. She ignores everything. She blurted out one day that if she didn't have kids she would not be with her partner. I guess my manipulation in bringing her and her sister to Australia is now backfiring.She said to my husband that her life didn't turn out as she would have liked it to be. Life can be very complicated, but I am kind and loving unlike my Mum who used to beat me up regularly. I forgave her, she obviously had a mental illness and is now in a home in England, turning 90 in 2 weeks, I still love her.. Oh well, perhaps this Sunday being Mothers day she may make an appearance. Thanks once again Joannie.
