NT News Story Today, page-64

Who am I?
I get paid over $600 k a year.
Everytime I walk in the office door, I collect atleast $2k plus
I am constantly late with timelines.
I cap raise to anyone who will vote for me.
I do not have enough money to buy a single share of any of the companies I work for.
I seem to be capable of surviving the AGM by a millimetre every year, possibly due to super positive announcements leading up to the AGM which is always ,coincidental .
I like filling the board with my mates who wont turn on me with my lacklustre performance nor challenge my excessive salary.
I am a teacher of patients and will reward all shareholders with mass riches by NEXT year .
I also like fighting with government agents that really hold the cards that I wish to succeed.
Yes I am a director of an ASX company.
(The characters and incidents portrayed and the names used above are fictitious, and any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unconditional,"
Bombeiro