observing oneself is good. As long as one doesn’t do it to then beat oneself up.
but I was thinking
@Joannie that you might watch when the attacks are worse. But also what you say to yourself when you feel one about to come and what you say to yourself when you’ve had one and also before you go anywhere
what is the self talk.
what helped me enormously is that apart from a couple of areas my negative self talk stopped. The one big favour that the whatnot did is that the emotional crap he laid on me was so bad and when he was out of my life so patently not true that those perspectives disappeared - it seems forever.
now I see plenty of ways to feel good about myself. It makes a huge difference. I just have to deal now with the fact that I like to get to a decent income level again having had time out from my business while I was with him and COVID interfering dreadful with getting it back on track. But I have ideas on that. I will, however, never work so hard again. Pointless really.
now to go and buy some things for the garden. i moved my barrow loads of soil and ordered 2 more metres. I have just bought 2 cumquats - sheesh they were expensive, a luculia, a rhododendron, a camellia sasanqua, a gardenia, a mulberry tree, a boysenberry, and other bits and pieces. Ready to plant when I’ve moved a bit more dirt - hopefully over the weekend.
mind you I have a xmas in July lunch tomorrow and it is expected to snow. If that happens I might also go play in snow as well - maybe sauna, snow, dinner, wine somewhere
