loose or lose?, page-46

Tought it appropriate to re post this gem...

European
English:



The European Commission has just
announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of
the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, the
British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".



In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard
"c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should
klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will
be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
"ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make
words like fotograf 20% shorter.



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.



Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.



Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in
the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.



By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with
"v".



During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
riten styl.



Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.



Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.



If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl