Well, you see my children, it’s like this. Many decades ago , before you were born we were told of a coming catastrophe, “Global Cooling” they called it, the earth was going into an ice age and we would all be frozen stiff and perish. Our politicians quickly began to develop a plan to counteract it but lucky for us, that was a false alarm However, a couple of decades later our vigilant scientists working with their computer climate models discovered that Nature was up to its old tricks again. They saw that this time it looked like Nature was going to turn up the heat on us and we would sizzle to death. The initial code name for this was “Global Warming” but Nature kept on playing tricks and gave signs that it was cooling at times. This made the scientists angry so they decided they would need a name that would anticipate any Nature’s tricky moves; “Climate Change” and just to let Nature know that us humans were a power to be reckoned with and at the same time acknowledge that the populous were united in this offensive the coined the term AGW to fly on our banners. Our scientists were very cleaver. They took data from Nature’s database and secretly altered it before putting it through their sophisticated climate computer models and they soon found Nature’s Achilles Heel; the minute quantity of the colourless gas that Nature keeps in the atmosphere, CO2! Meanwhile our gallant politicians weren’t sitting on their hands, they were busy with the help of Big Business burning the midnight oil assessing all strategies to put Nature back in its place. Eventually they came up with a brilliant plan. Government and Big Business would unite under one World Power ! Together as one, they would unleash their newly contrived secret weapon; The ETS! This was an ingenious but complex weapon that would require the Government and Big Business to work together in perfect unison to strike at the very heart of Nature and deprive it of its’ evil CO2. The plan was to shut down anything that produced CO2 (such as coal fired power stations , petrol powered cars, etc.) and replace them with “clean” energy (such as wind power, solar panels etc.) This would be done through a process whereby individual Governments would collect a tax and pay a levy to the World Government which would be used to help underprivileged countries get a sense of belonging in the World Government. At the same time Big Business would run a “Carbon Exchange” which would ensure that the profits from the ETS were spread evenly between banks and other financial institutions who would make sure that Nature would soon submit due to the lack of CO2. But alas! We were conned ! We were conned by the ego of the scientists and the greed of the Governments and Big Business. CO2 was not Nature’s Achilles Heel, it didn’t care less about the miniscule amount of CO2 was contributing to the atmosphere, it could produce any amount it wanted whenever it wanted. So my children, be thankful for the rise of the “Sceptics” who saw through the scam and took action to work and adapt with Nature by cleaning up the environment , re-foretaste our forests and developed the clean energy which was promised by the Government but never delivered. That’s all I got time for, I’m off to check the CO2 level......in my glasshouse :)
