Feel Better:Complain About Anything, page-86826

Great Hotel English translations of the World Part 1 (Source: Various)"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid" (Yugoslavian Hotel)(`"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid" (Japanese Hotel)`"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for" (Swiss restaurant)`"Would you like to ride on your own ass? " (Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand)`"Drop your trousers here for best results" (Bangkok dry cleaners)`"Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11am daily" (Athens Hotel)`"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable" (Bucharest Hotel) `"Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up" (Leipzig elevator)``"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday" (Moscow Hotel (across from a Russian Orthodox monastery))`"Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension" (Austrian Hotel catering to skiers)`"Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion" (Polish Hotel menu)`"Dresses for street walking" (Outside a Paris dress shop)`"Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation" (Rhodes Tailor's)`"It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose" (German camp site)`"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose" (Zurich Hotel)`"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time" (Rome laundry)`"It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man" (Bangkok temple)`"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts" (Tokyo bar)`"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar" (Norwegian cocktail lounge)`"Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself." (Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner)`"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor." (Brochure of a car rental firm, Tokyo)`"Customers Who Find Our Waitresses Rude Ought To See The Manager." (Nairobi Restaurant)`"For Your Convenience, We recommend Courteous, Efficient Self-Service." (Supermarket, Hong Kong)