Melbourne Zoo had acquired a female of a very rare species of Gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very cantankerous and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the Zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was on heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting on their problem, the Zoo management noticed Bruce, a big Aussie lad, responsible for fixing the Zoo's machinery. Bruce, like most Aussies, had little sense, but seemed to be possessed with ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the Zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Bruce was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Bruce showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Bruce announced that he would accept their offer, only under three conditions: "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiiiss er." "Seecondly, you must neever teell anyone about thiiis." The Zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition. "Weell," said Bruce, "You gotta give me another weeek to come up with the $500."