As you know, Dex.
I’m certainly no health professional but I “sometimes” fancy myself as being a bit clairvoyant about medical issues so would it be alright to give you my diagnosis of the unfortunate condition that you currently find yourself in?
I’ll take the lack of any verbal communication, subliminal messaging services or astroplaning phenomena that you said yes

My diagnosis is that you have a server case of Man Flu but unfortunately to date there’s been no medically tested and approved diagnostic testing kits for this serious illness.
As far as I know, there are generally only 3 true indicators that can be trusted in a positive ID of this illness.
1- Being born in a Male Form (nothing wrong with identifying as a man but it’s a sad but unfortunate reality that illness, is oblivious of the rights of the individual to be what they want to be, wanting to be considered as a man just isn’t enough).
2- Catastrophic symptoms that the individual describes as being “Like any number of multiple diseases and/or illnesses” combined in any order, repeated often to as many people as they can possibly reach (this is possibly the most nasty of the three because as someone who has been through it, this indicator almost guarantees additional pain from less catastrophic hurts. You will most certainly get a little hurt each time your significant other or friends pull the proverbial out of you and tell funny anecdotes about how much you whinged our suggested that birthing a child would kill you).
3- You take every pill offered to the point that if you moved to quickly, it could be said that people near you could almost hear you rattle “like a quarter filled pill canaster”

My recommendation for a medicinal remedy would be laugh, giggle and try to find any positive you can out of your present condition and to follow doctors order’s

Chin up me old Muck
Worse things happen at Sea!!!! Bom Bom.
Hope you feel better latter today.