I too decided I was atheist at around 14. Seemed like such a more fulfilling life in the rock and roll/Vietnam war-era late 60's for a country kid.
At about 28yo my wife and I faced a crisis during childbirth and she pulled through it with the help of God. I had next to 0 do with her survival, but I prayed like her life depended on it. I wasn;t sure she was even alive but later she told me she had briefly had an experience of an encounter with God. Of course one can say that was a dream or delusion, but it had a big impact.
I've lived in various cultures and continents and yes some have hijacked their Abrahamic faith group to hate others not of the same group. I realised over time that people are usually lovable if you get to know them. Of course some are at a given time unreachable so there is always the chance you might die, but hey, why would one worry about dieing, when eternal life is on offer thanks to Jesus Christ.?
About 15 y later I finally gave in.
It can be too late if you lose consciousness before repenting, so do try not to miss it.
God loves you and wants the best for you, Don't lose your life to the devil, who hates you. I truly hope to meet you in Heaven so we can discuss further.
