Oh Boy, I wasn't going to read any more on this thread ...
and as a disclaimer: real tragedies do affect people deeply and influence their relationships both positively and negatively - my condolences to the man whose wife had a still-born child.
But but but: some obviously have a very personal problem which they made public by posting on here - I try not to do that, because it is painful having it dissected by people one doesn't really know, and who aren't necessarily friendly, but the attraction of anonymity when unburdening yourselves is irrestible and maybe a good thing.
Look guys, characters meet and fall in love for nothing more than their hormonal demands; then they have a dream wedding (I am a woman, but those stupid brides make me puke, yet an entire industry is based on 'The Wedding') and then the reality of facing life together hits home. Unless there is wealth from the start, the very real problem of daily survival becomes a joint task. It is at this juncture when the first cracks appear, individual talents or lack thereof show, real love, motivations show through and the couple need to change and adapt quickly. Personal dramas at work or in the extended family also become a reality which both partners need to face together.
Adaptation and change = a basic law of nature and not often faced at the same time and/or pace.
A 'cave' was mentioned here - well my experience of that is sketchy to say the least, but I still loved my husband (with ups and downs, as everybody), because the initial feeling and bonding was real and strong; we got our 'cave' eventually by sheer hard work by both marriage partners. I am sure this holds true for many people as well.
My recently divorced daughter managed to get her 'cave' by appealing to Mum and sister for a deposit and had the grits and guts to get the deal off the ground. She is now out of the house and her partner, who never did a thing to the house whilst they were together, is now sitting pretty, did a complete paint job (first time ever) and already has a new partner. She is not so lucky, because, guess what, she hasn't got a house. So don't tell me men aren't looking at what a woman's got, apart from looks.
All that emotional stuff you go on about only holds true if the original attachment wasn't for real - so there, you better look out how you present yourself and how you reel the fish in. Be true to yourself and you'll find someone who will respond in kind and do your best to stay in love and keep your partner that way also.
