your response is curious. So you have one person post something that should raise alarm bells and then triangulate with the person whose views suggest a tendency to blame women for their own reactions. You might like to ponder that for a while
what you are doing is writing on a thread about family violence and being influenced by whether of not someone has other views you think are crazy. If you really are concerned about family violence whether they have other views that you don’t agree with is irrelevant. You call it out wherever it is coming from. You don’t allow the fact that some are less articulate than others (or the reverse) colour you
you don’t allow a belief that someone is somehow on the same political side as you override anything else. Otherwise you are what the DV world and women despair of - people who enable others.
On this thread we have had both men and women complain about abuse and violence. It is quite clear that how life is experienced is very different for both men and women. That triggers are different, interpretations are different and there is often a vast gulf between them. I am quite sure my ex would blame me. And it is of course quite likely I did or said things that riled him up or he thought were crazy or upset him. But then I could write a book about things he did and said which in retrospect are huge red flags for someone who also saw me as his super scheme and a way of - well - up scaling his life, who had a huge disrespect for women because they were always going to take second place to his own interests and desires which were for selfish pleasure.
thats my interpretation but I’ll go with an eighty year old prim woman telling him to go f himself as a an indicator of what was visible to others. But it’s still interpretation and I have spent a long time contemplating that and wondering how one ever reconciles these things
i think an indicator for me is the level of underlying “anger” against the world in general. The general tone of posts. The use of labels to dismiss opposing views and the general level of - well respect or whatever it is an intangible sense of something.
