sleepy hollow

Given everyone is asleep and the latest piddly Director share purchase means that there is nothing coming shortly to wake everyone up, I thought I would do my bit to entertain everyone with a fictitious account of interviews between Neil Mitchell and Peter Cook & Grant Latta of Biota, which I posted last year.

FICTITIOUS INTERVIEW 1

Event: Swine Flu comes to Melbourne, yet the media is only talking about Tamiflu. No evidence of any marketing by GSK or Biota

Neil Mitchell: Ive got Peter Cook & Grant Latta from Biota Holdings now on the line

Neil: First to you, Peter, can you fill me in on the GSK lawsuit in 2008

PC: Yes Neil, a wonderful result for shareholders

Neil: Didnt GSK offer to settle for $100 million, but you accepted $20 million and paid $30 million in legal fees? How is that a wonderful result for shareholders?

PC: Err Im not good at maths can you ask Grant a question?

Neil: Okay, Grant, in the Biota website it says that you are a senior business executive with strong financial management, marketing and strategic skills. Can you please tell me what you are doing in regard to marketing?

GL: What is marketing?

Neil: Didnt you write that on your website?

GL: No ... thats laughable, I dont even know how to turn on a computer, that was the office admin girl, she does everything around here from writing investor presentations to making a mean cuppa tea.

Neil: I think well leave it there folks

FICTITIOUS INTERVIEW 2

Event: GSK announce that they massively increase RELENZA production, probable new delivery system for RELENZA, & WHO to declare pandemic level 6. I wonder if Biota management will awaken from their slumber and open their mouths.

Neil Mitchell: We have Peter Cook and Grant Latta from Biota Holdings in the studio today. Well, gentleman, all this news bodes well for Biotas share price.

PC: Slow down Neil. Everytime a bird dies in Egypt, the share price flies

Neil: Dont you mean everytime pigs die in Egypt, the share price flies?

PC: Er ... Im not good at animals ... Grant can you please help me here

GL: You are 100% correct Peter. It certainly about birds, everyone knows that pigs cant fly?

Neil: I think Peter was referring to the share price flying, not pigs flying

GL: Thats even more impossible, everyone knows that a share price cant fly, at least pigs have wings.

Neil: I think well leave it there folks. Well, listeners it looks like you will see pigs fly before Biota management open their mouths and say something intelligent

FICTITIOUS INTERVIEW 3

Event: Peter Cook is interviewed by the Herald-Sun and says some baffling things about the Biota share price and how his shareholders he gets upset with its volatility.

Neil Mitchell: Back in the studio we have Peter Cook & Grant Latta from Biota Holdings. Welcome gentleman.

Neil: Firstly, Peter, why on earth are you dressed up in full body armour?

PC: I am the white knight, Sir Dumbalot of Camelot. I am the defender of my people, the vulnerable holders of the shares. The holders of the shares get very distressed when the price of the share rises. I will see that the price of the share does NOT rise and I will duel against anyone who dare upset my people.

Neil: I thought shareholders were more likely to be upset by you talking down the share price

PC: I must go now. I must rescue Guinivere from the evil Maleagant.

.........

Neil: Well thats never happened before. Grant, it looks like its just you and me. Arent you a tad concerned that the head of your company dresses up as a round table knight?

GL: I didnt realise he was actually wearing armour. I thought I was hallucinating from all the Tamiflu Ive been taking to get rid of my head cold

Neil: Tamiflu? Shouldnt you be taking RELENZA.

GL: Short term it works the same as RELENZA . And it is all about the Short term. Knights like Peter and I always get found out in the end and thus are never around for the long term.

Neil: Is your boardroom table round by any chance?