Ann: CEO Bulletin , page-32

Thanks LTI,

Those strategies make a lot of sense and the individual rules in your strategy are not dissimilar to mine. I've found it important to understand the nature of a conversation with her in order to understand the strategy fully and to succesfully employ strategies such as yours.

Firstly, in order to enact these strategies it is critical to perform intensive on the fly analysis of the early part of the conversation so as to assertain where it is going. As most conversations are repeated almost as often as a TV program on channel 9, a few seconds of early analysis will often enable one to recognise the conversation, recollect the previous outcomes and perform a quick risk assessment with regard to possible responses or lack there of which you or others may previously have tried.

Conversations with her can be likened to playing a video game. There is often only one successful path from start to finish but you only discover this through trial and error. She will automatically restart the conversation periodicly thus it is important to learn from the previous session and not make the same mistakes. Over time those with good memories will learn to recognise and navigate through many common conversations.

The avoidance or early termination of any meaningful discussion where commitment of an opinion is likely to be required is certainly one of the more popular strategies. Sadly this tool cannot be used every time as it can alert her and result in a more deep and meaningful conversation about why you don't listen to her or why you don't share her interests. This situation needs to be avoided at all costs as it usually involves more emotion than the original conversation that you were trying to avoid and as most of us have learned, you don't put out a fire with a bucket full or petrol.

With regard to rule (2), I have found that she will keep talking to herself as long as you quickly look at her every few seconds, in between what you are trying to watch. Completely ignoring her has consequences so feigning interest while being distracted gives you the plausable excuse of "didn't hear" which is critical to this rule.

Best results from rules (4) and (5) can be obtained by not trying to terminate the conversation too early. While making a noise that infers that you agree with her is critical, it is important not to rush this out straight away. She is not talking at you so that you will agree with her. She is talking at you so that you will know what you are to think. If you agree with her before she feels that she has fully instructed you then she may feel that you have not fully digested her critical points and feel compelled to drill down and discuss some of it in more detail. By all means agree with her but make her feel like she has earned it by delaying the agreement for a little bit and initially just give her noises that infer that you are listening. Timing is everything.

Finally another part of the strategy which I think may be missing form your summary, its called "the diversion". As her conversation will usually miander without any logical route to a destination, you can learn to identify various intersections with losely related subjects. While some might think that using these intersections in the conversation is just inviting a longer conversation, experts will recognise an opportunity to beat her at her own game.

If you pick the right opportunities you can hyjack her conversation and direct it off into a subject that you know she is not really interested in. If you do this correctly you can invest 30 seconds or so into a monologue by which time she may have forgotten about the lesson she was giving you and start thinking about other things herself, like doing the dishes, taking the clothes out of the dryer and those other things that occupy their minds. Done properly this will not only stop her conversation early but also get her to leave the room minimising the chances of another conversation starting for 15-20 mins.


Thanks for the tips LTI. I might refine my efforts a little this weekend.

PS, Can you give us a bit more detail on the usage of "MOLA" ?