Good Morning and Welcome to Hot Copper Television....We are proud to be the first imaginary TV station, within a sharemarket internet forum, in the southern hemisphere, and over the coming weeks and months, we hope to bring you an array of entertaining, informative and thought provoking programs to help you, The Viewer in your market adventures.
And to start things off, HCTV presents our flagship morning show, The Early Opener with your host Disco Stu.....
(imagine) A Tony Barberesque entry, 2 somersaults, flailing arms
"Thankyou, thankyou, what a great audience.
Welcome to the first Early Opener on HCTV and boy have we got a show for you!
Firstly why don't you give it up for our resident band, Funky and the Oscillators!
Fabulous stuff, how was your weekend Funky?
"Stu it was fantastic, wow how great to be here for the first"...Thanks Funky, that's enough, I'm the star mate.
So how bout those Greeks eh?.....Apparently the World Bank would be happy to lend the Greeks money, but nobody works long enough hours to fill in the application form.
(laughter & applause)
Well have we got a treat for you. For the first time on imaginary stockmarket forum television......the comedy stylings of Maxi48.
===Horse in bar===
38.2 23.6
====long face
=======Irishman, Englishman, Frenchman======
======bar graph====silly Frenchman
(much laughter)
Give it up everybody.....Maxi48.......great Maxi what made you get into comedy...
====Stu====Pauley said I was funny 61.8======
Ok and now for this mornings special guest, the author of the new bestseller "Men can come from Venus too"....please welcome to the show....
Nine Lives (applause, some hooting)
Good to see you Nine Lives, I couldn't think of a better interview for our first show.......So tell us what made you believe this garbage.
(Nervous laughter)
"Happy to be here Stu, but I must take hommage with your interpretation. I believe that there is more to life than what we see, numbers and astrological events have a greater importance than most realise. The movement of celestial bodies can predict stock market fluctuations, and along with the Fibonacci sequence provide us with extra tools in our quest for profit"
Yes but could Fibonacci or Leonardo of Pisa as he was also known, build a straight tower?
(some laughter)
Put your hands together for Nine Lives, I'll get some stock tips from you after the show.
(NL backstage - Is that guy for real, what a tosser)
Now we'll cross to our intrepid sports reporter Costa4 (damn greeks think they invented the olympics), for a report on the fastest growing sport in the world at the moment, Lynas Ball
"Thanks Stu, yes here we are at the inaugural Lynas Ball world championships in Kuala Lumpur. If you're unfamiliar with this growing sport, 2 teams line up, after a toss of the coin, one team is named Smart Money and has the ball. The opposing team who is known as the Herd chase the ball around endlessly.
It's an exciting game at the moment, Smart Money have kicked the ball up and down and the Herd just keep chasing it. I've been getting loaded on hotdogs and I'm really enjoying myself. Earlier I got this rare interview with one of the herd.
"So what is it about Lynas Ball that keeps you coming back?....Oh look I just love chasing the ball, once I saw my dog chasing a car, and I thought gee I'd love to do that.....next minute Boom, I'm centre forward for the Tigers.
Well that's the report for this week, look out for Lynas Ball in a stadium near you soon.
Great first report from Costa, we look forward to future pieces....(Fire that guy he's crap)
Now over to our resident meteorologist Martis for the weather.
"Thanks Stu.....I'm very surprised by the current weather but I predict a force 5 cyclone to hit sometime in the next 52 weeks"
Thanks Martis, I should take my brolly then?
(mild courteous snickering)
Well that's it for our first show, you've been a great audience.
Remember, if you don't buy it, no-one will....
Thankyou and Goodnight.
You've been enjoying The Early Opener, stay tuned for more great HCTV including:
Man vs Market Adventurer Chris Ford tries to tame the market with nothing more than a lead pencil and a retractor
Dirty Jobs with Blues Dog Follow Bluey as he delves into the lives of those with dirty jobs...Brokers are first up.
MarketBusters JG and Stocky put their skills to use in debunking market myths.
Big Bank Theory Pauley, Maxi, Cyclic, Jeepers and Penny make us laugh with their nerdy antics.
That and much much more coming soon on HCTV.
Now we throw it open to our studio audience......
(20min delay)