letter to a men's helpline

Hi Frank

I really need your advice on a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating
on me.

The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs
up; she goes out with the girls a lot.

I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I
usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat.

When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her
blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a
hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole
bracket?