Iam afraid this is very bad news, page-119

Hang on a minute - I may have got this wrong. I thought I was supposed to be "going long and keeping calm" so I've been doing this. Now I'm told I should have been going short (and panicking?). It isn't half confusing. I don't think I'm cut out for this investing malarky.

SGH's numbers will be with "the syndicate" by now (OMG - it sounds worse than the Mafia; someone told me AG found a horse's head with a banker's logo on it in his bed last night - this isn't a serious comment btw so no complaints please, girls). At least someone in SGH will now know if cash has turned around and the second half is looking profitable. Heaven help us if the news is more positive. Surely it can't happen - it's not in the script. Hope nothing slips out unexpectedly.

They were advertising on UK TV again today - as they were yesterday and last week and last month. That can't be cheap. It's more about creating brand awareness than anything else I reckon. Even if direct instructions were to come in as a result of the advertising, the first revenue from any cases generated wouldn't be expected to arrive until well over a year from now. Surely they won't be here? Or indeed there. Anywhere in fact. Then again, maybe they will still be around, annoying people. If you can't make a profit out of being a lawyer, what's the world coming to, eh? Accounting firms won't be making profits next. Bookies are close to losing money - they would be already if you could short them.

Wonder why SGS are bothering with the advertising?