My wife of 30yrs refuse to part her super to me, page-9

If the money is in her super account then it is her money to do with what she wants. Would you like her to dictate what happens to your savings. You have no legal right to interfere unless you start divorce proceedings. So, if the marriage is failing/failed then move out and start divorce proceedings which will sort out the matter and if nothing else allow you to access the pension.