That's just the reality and it won't change because you think it is unfair. When it comes to money, you need to divorce to force a separation of assets if your wife won't agree to a division as that seems to be what you want. Even in a divorce you need to first try to negotiate a settlement and only if that fails will the court make a determination. Not coming to a voluntary agreement with your wife will cost both of you a large increase in legal fees.
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My wife of 30yrs refuse to part her super to me, page-11
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