''Free will is when you decide to do something about your instincts and train them to become less harmful to others.''
No it's not. There is no separation between instincts and self. Selfhood is composed of many attributes and features. You are talking dualism.
''Humans can choose to do this, through meditative reflection.''
Humans can modify behaviour because they have the neural wiring for it, a sufficiently complex brain, not 'free will'
''That's an example of exercising free will.''
No it's not. You are sticking the label of 'free will' will nilly without regard to research, terms or conditions. Brain lesions, for example, can and do alter behaviour. Sociopathy is a brain condition. A sociopath literally does not feel empathy for others, not because he lacks 'free will' but because his brain is wired the way it is.
''The exact opposite of this is also free will. I can choose to be apathetic to my instincts and allow them to overwhelm my being to the point of anger turning to rage turning to murder.''
Nope. What you feel you choose consciously already has antecedent causality prior to conscious experience. Libet, et al.....
It's clear that you have a poor understanding of what the research in cognition has uncovered to date.
