Day Trader’s Weekend Aftermarket Lounge 21-23 Jun 2019

Originally posted by taughtbuffet: ↑

y'know

something no one knows about dad number _ _ _ (c'mon, no one can count that high) @RockstarJones is that he came the closest out all of them in splitting me and mum up

see, i placed several hidden cameras in the Chesney and used the incriminating photos to blackmail most of them, but when i got the photos back of @RockstarJones i immediately confronted mum

I said "Mum, how long have you been a lesbian?"

and we had the biggest row, and i almost moved out, until she eventually got me to re-examine the photos with a magnifying glass,

she said, "see how that one pubic hair is not curly and seems to be pointing in a different direction that the rest?"

i then came up with a great idea and a use for him

so i got step dad number _ _ _ to wear some leotards and to take me to a womens only gym

he would sit me in the corner with an ice cream and a towel over my lap, and i would perve and dribble and women would walk past and think i was simple and cute

i never worried about him fancying any of those over mum, cause if any women could fit through the doors of the gym, they were clearly not his type,

he's like a fisherman with a limit, if he hooks anything under 250 kg he throws them back as being too small

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You have to admit though, I rocked that leotard!!

And you, you little weirdo, hanging out with you at the gym made Michael Jackson and Bubbles appear like a normal family.
Eventually after they complained enough I made them pay me not to take you there. That's how your Mum and I afforded
to get you those braces you didn't need. I would've rather kept the money but your Mum said "No, he annoys me so much he's having glasses and braces. Remember that time your braces set the metal detector off at the airport and we were going to leave you behind....? We were only at the airport trying to pick up other peoples luggage of course but you didn't know that so we spent the next 10 years blaming you for ruining that years family holiday.
Aaaah..........good times

If only you would put those incriminating photos on the net, I would probably enjoy a late career resurgence of
epic proportions.I mean who in the world can resist an ageing, gender bending rockstar in leotards ? No-one it seems. Just look at Mick Jagger. As usual you are finding a way to hold me back. You have been the absolute bane of my existence and the real reason I am not an international rockstar. I want you to know I blame you for absolutely everything(except getting the Chesney stuck in the KFC drive thru - that one was definitely MY fault)

Anyway tomorrow I'm going busking near the weight watchers , if you wanna come and sit next to me I'll bring your towel and your icecream.