You have to admit though, I rocked that leotard!!
And you, you little weirdo, hanging out with you at the gym made Michael Jackson and Bubbles appear like a normal family.
Eventually after they complained enough I made them pay me not to take you there. That's how your Mum and I afforded
to get you those braces you didn't need. I would've rather kept the money but your Mum said "No, he annoys me so much he's having glasses and braces. Remember that time your braces set the metal detector off at the airport and we were going to leave you behind....? We were only at the airport trying to pick up other peoples luggage of course but you didn't know that so we spent the next 10 years blaming you for ruining that years family holiday.
Aaaah..........good times
If only you would put those incriminating photos on the net, I would probably enjoy a late career resurgence of
epic proportions.I mean who in the world can resist an ageing, gender bending rockstar in leotards ? No-one it seems. Just look at Mick Jagger. As usual you are finding a way to hold me back. You have been the absolute bane of my existence and the real reason I am not an international rockstar. I want you to know I blame you for absolutely everything(except getting the Chesney stuck in the KFC drive thru - that one was definitely MY fault)
Anyway tomorrow I'm going busking near the weight watchers , if you wanna come and sit next to me I'll bring your towel and your icecream.
