AVL 7.14% 1.5¢ australian vanadium limited

2008 stockmarket terms

  1. 1,263 Posts.
    since no one feels like talking

    STOCK MARKET TERMS - UPDATED FOR 2008

    CEO: Chief Embezzlement Officer.
    CFO: Corporate Fraud Officer.
    BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
    BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.
    VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower.
    P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
    BROKER: What my broker has made me.
    STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell.
    STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
    STOCK SPLIT: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
    FINANCIAL PLANNER: A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
    MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks.
    CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
    YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
    WINDOWS: What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
    PROFIT: An archaic word no longer in use.
 
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