passes for humour

Sent: Monday, October 20, 2008 1:59 PM
Subject: Men

thought y'all might like this one
> >
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> Men
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> 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
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> (because they are plugged into a genius)
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> 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
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> (they don't have enough time)
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> 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
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> (they don't stop to ask directions)
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> 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
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> (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they
> vapor lock)
>

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> (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. WHY WERE MEN
> GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
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> (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails
> parties)
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> 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
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> (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
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> 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
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> (don't know.....its never happened)
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> ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
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> And the personal favorite:
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> 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
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> (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
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> Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and
> laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
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> One for the ladies One day my housework-challenged husband
> decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped
> into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting
> do I use on the washing machine?'
>
>
> 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on
> your shirt?'
>
> He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'And they
> say blondes are
> dumb...----------------------------------------------- A
> couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to
> make you the happiest woman in the world.'
> The woman replies, 'I'll
miss you...'
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------
> 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack
> says as he stepped out of the shower, 'Honey, what do
> you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like
> this?' 'Probably that I married you for your
> money,' she replied.
> ----------------------------------------------- Q: What do
> you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>
>
> A: A rumor
> -------------- ------
> --------------------------------------- Dear Lord,I pray
> for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
> Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for
> Strength, I'll beat him to death.
> AMEN-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ------ -------------------------------------------- - Q: Why
> do
little boys whine?
>
> A: They are practicing to be
> men.-----------------------------------------------
> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
> breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow
> down long
> enough.-----------------------------------------------------------
> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>
> A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
> -----------------------------------------------------------