LMAO Quixis - Your post really did make me "laugh out loud" - hahahahaha!
OK - how about this???
"Dear Sir,
It has come to my attention upon perusal of your written documents that your accuracy and interpretations are somewhat slightly off the mark to the measurement of between your office and the planet U-rang-us, which would probably explain that icky smell emanating from my computer & the bile rising in the back of my neck every time I read your putrid documents." ...hehehehe!
Cheers, Pie ;)
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