Amazing Day 10%, page-18

A bit of humour from The Chaser crew on the current update:

"Retraction: We're sorry we accused all those guards of being a bunch of hornbags

Hi Folks,

So it turns out that the security guards who caused the second wave in Melbourne by having sex with everyone, actually weren't the source of the outbreak and didn't cause the second wave.

Oops. Probably shouldn't have run all those front page headlines in our tabloid papers across the country, blaming the depraved sexual appetites of low-paid guards for all of Victoria's problems. Luckily, they earn far too little to have access to decent defamation lawyers.

And look, yes, our newspapers and cable television news network have spent the last six weeks blaming Daniel Andrews for this stuff up. But you've got to blame someone, don't you? Blame is the cornerstone of accountability. If we didn't blame people for things they didn't do, those in charge could just get away with anything. It's always better to err on the side of blaming people and then sort out the facts later.

As it turns out, it was hotel staff - which come under the responsibility of the Federal authorities - that first contracted the virus from quarantined travellers. Turns out some of the training and protocols established by the Federal Department of Health and Human Services may have been lacking. And it looks like they didn't even have sex with anyone. Talk about a bunch of prudes.

Now that we've realised it was the Federal government's responsibility, I think we can all agree that there's no reason to apportion blame. In these tough times, we need to recognise that nobody was acting with ill-intentions. Nobody was trying to cause a second outbreak. Let's not play the blame game. It doesn't get us anywhere. Everyone's trying their best. And anyway, how good are the Sharks?"