Hast thou ruffians been patterning thy parlance over centuries to cause misshape to the vernacular of William Shakespeare
1 Instead of you, say thou. Instead of yall, say thee. 2 Dont waste time saying "it," just use the letter "t" (tis, twill, Ill dot). 3 When in doubt, add the letters "eth" to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth). 4 To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with methinks, mayhaps, in sooth or wherefore. 5 When wooing ladies: try comparing her to a summers day. If that fails, say "Get thee to a nunnery!"
Alas, poor english: I knew it well. Why doth thou speaketh so strangeth? The language of ourdays: it all sounds greek to me. 'Tis the internet machine contraptions and those unimaginable texty demons that hath possesed our language.
