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Feel Better:Complain About Anything, page-97000

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16/01/23

08:24

Post #: 65704906
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Originally posted by Justis: ↑

Oh I saw lots of "arguing" with my parents and sadly dad was an alcoholic and at times violent

I can't state as fact, that after one time I pleaded with my dad to not hurt mum that he did stop being violent to mum. But I was dads favourite and at some point after that dad did stop being violent to mum.

So in time I notice that when mum and dad was arguing, dad would simply walk away, ie go outside out of ear shot. How ever mum would continue yelling at him, I noticed this a lot and would say to my mum "stop leave him alone".

I came to think that it was mum's controlling behaviour that was what sparked dad off, while the violent behaviour was by no means excusable, you can see the cause and effect. I suspect an element of that with said person

Funny, asked mum when did dad become an alcoholic, about 3 months after they married she says .

Dad did well to ignore mum's yelling but mum found it difficult to not continue to yell at him after he had withdrawn himself, think it was after dad got diagnosed with liver cancer and given expect life expectancy that she let up. Sad to say but think dad was almost welcoming and refuse medical intervention, to death we part, he lived a fair bit longer that predicted but lived in peace.

All due respect, love my mum but no way in the world that I could be with some one like her

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Lots of sadness in your post, Justis. It revealed that the offspring will be greatly influenced by what they lived through when they were children....and what they, subsequently, want and seek for themselves in relationships.....
That's a revelation......and worth taking on board.
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