what's so great about marriage?, page-27

Folks,

That was a very discerning and insightful lot of comments that took some time to read and understand.

It seems to me that our society is steadily improving its attitude towards gays through education and I expect that their quest for equality WILL be attained in the future.

But will that stop the misery that comes from the perpetuation of romantic myth?

In searching for a solution, I wondered whether we could educate our children to have practical expectations of marriage and how to find a partner who can reliably fulfil such expectations.

Perhaps we could start with defining love. We use the term 'making love' to describe the sexual act which can often be totally devoid of deep affection and concern for our partner's welfare.

Love, IMO, is the feeling that we have for another when the importance of their needs and desires is AS (or MORE) important than our own needs & desires.

Ignorance of this basic fact leads us to sometimes confuse love with something quite ordinary.

Like the woman with a black eye who told me, "I know that he really loves me, it's just that he acts foolishly when he is drunk."

Her abusive husband blamed his appalling behaviour on alcohol and a neglected childhood. He would then use 'words of love' to stop her leaving him.

We must remind our children of the English adage, "Handsome is as handsome does."

A person's character is NOT discernable from his words so much as from his actions.

And love must be demonstrated by one's actions.

(Sir) Lunchalot
Scoffer Extraordinaire