I think you need to distinguish family court custody hearings and property settlements.
I’ve heard both. While I was waiting in court over a property settlement I listened to a woman in tears over the partner being given access to his children under the supervision of his father. Both were abusive (yes her say so but as she talked to her lawyer about it I was in no doubt that she was telling the truth) Another friend was accused by her husband of being psychologically disturbed. She wasn’t the most settled person but he was weirder. Where does truth begin and end.
my guess is that the definition of family violence and abuse also differs between men and women. Different behaviour has different meanings or impact.
I just wish humans were more able to navigate differences. I wish that we could all be more honest about personal agendas. But seems we can’t and we end up with messes
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