I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
> reasons:
>
> 1. I do physical labour.
> 2. I work at great depths.
> 3. I plunge head first into everything I do.
> 4. I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
> 5. I work in a damp environment.
> 6. I don't get paid overtime.
> 7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
> 8. I work in high temperatures.
> 9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
> ___________________________________
>
> Dear Penis,
> After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
> raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
> reasons:
> 1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
> 2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
> 3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
> 4. You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other
> areas.
> 5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
> stimulated in
> order to start working.
> 6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
> 7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
> wearing the proper safety clothing.
> 8. You'll retire well before reaching 65.
> 9. You're unable to work double shifts.
> 10.You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have
> completed the day's work.
> 11.You have been seen entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2
> suspicious looking bags.
>
> Sincerely,
> Management
>
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