Mate of mine left his feet in 'Nam. Clunked a bit on his wooden feet.
Stepping over a gutter to get to his car outside the pub one day he was a little awkward and drew the attention of passing police.
He blew over the limit and when he went to court he tried to explain "I was legless at the time, Your Honour". His Honour didn't share Doug's sense of humour though. Didn't get a chance to explain.
