Just some thoughts - I think?

Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner.

I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble.... but shouldn’t that be an even number?

I find it ironic that the colours red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies . Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body .

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.

You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

The location of your letterbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a dressing gown before you start looking like a mental patient.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch.

I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble.... but shouldn’t that be an even number?

I find it ironic that the colours red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies . Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body .

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.

You're not fat, you're just easier to see.

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

The location of your letterbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a dressing gown before you start looking like a mental patient.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch.